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Studioghibli background7
buckshot cowboy
bearclans esteemed keeper, which many refer to as elkstagger. a hearthfire of wits & impulsiveness, he tends to lead with an ambitious heart rather than a logical mind.
a popular face around the clan, his amiable radiance earns him the merit of being a great conversationalist, albeit a bit brutish in nature. cruising on the belt of spitefirey zealousness even in somber times earns elkstagger numerous admirable faces who find his self-assured demeanor a stroke of clemency when saddled with less-than-entertaining duties around camp.
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elkstagger, while a prideful boaster about his trade of fishing, does not mention the other trophy collecting dust behind him; he's a very good climber, and has the skills to show for it too. despite his stocky build, elks paws are wide enough to grip comfortably onto bark and support his weight with little issues. his claws have been grounded down into curved hooks, akin to birds of prey, which makes it easier for him to stake his claws in while climbing. staying on branches, on the other hand, is a more telling issue...
it's all too late###we walk & talk in time###i walk & talk in two###when does the end of me###become the start of you?
Elkstagger pagedoll
  • elk — a large, gregarious deer with large antlers and many tines; for his similar colors & 'larger than life' personality.
    — stagger to falter or begin to give way, as in an argument or fight; his cunningness in battle, leaving foes stumbling in his wake.
    • previous names elkkit, elkpaw
    • nicknames buckshot, elk
  • gender cismale
    • pronouns he/him
  • age 43 moons
    • date of birth december 16th
    • birthplace bearclan nursery
    • zodiac sign sagittarius
  • creation date november 10th, 2023
  • creator: Saintwren
  • roleplay status: active & alive
  • theme song: this charming man — the smiths
    • THEME LYRICS: Ah, a jumped-up pantry boy
      Who never knew his place
      He said, "Return the ring"
      He knows so much about these things
      He knows so much about these things
Studio ghibli backg
Calfstar by darylizard
why can't we laugh now like we did then?##how come i see you and ache instead?##how come you only look pleased in bed?##let's climb the cliff edge and jump again

charming, but enigmatic; many find him to be a charismatic keeper who could've been deputy, in another life. however the way he goes along bearclan life is quite brash, is vehemently opposed to the idea of being subservient under the leaders authority; he'll do his duties for the sake of the clan, not because of calfstar . professionality is few & far between w this damned cat, hed rather tear his own hide off than to even conform to the likes of what others want him to be- loves the whirlwind voracity of bearclans ambitiousness and drive for community. he finds it akin to family, however there are some bad apples in the bunch who've dampened his viewpoint, albeit just a little - still ... he'd like to go back to those times once more I WILL FIX THIS UP & MAKE THIS LOOK NICER

  • rank keeper
    • previous ranks warrior
  • training combat (advanced), hunting (basic)
    • mentor asphodeltwine
    • apprentice n/a
    • previous apprentices macadamiatrick, weaselpaw
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and i know that you're busy, do i know that you care?###you got your finger on your pulse, you got your eyes everywhere###and it hurts all the time when you don't return my calls###and you haven't got the time to remember how it was###

elk is a large, heavyset tom with brown tabby patterning on his body as well as streaks of ivory patches trailing their way throughout his fluffy pelt. his head & chest mimic his namesake and match the appearance of an elk; a blend of warm hickory into smooth tones of umber are prominent on elkstaggers fur, and few stripes of lighter gray sparingly etch elkstaggers flank. he sports tall ears as well as a stubby tail, reminiscent of a hare. deep ochre eyes which shine with mirth have moles dusted near them and randomly thru his body. I WILL FIX THIS UP & MAKE THIS LOOK NICE LATER

  • breed oh he's something alright.
  • height ~12" (~30cm)
  • voice claim tom blyth as billy the kid
    • speech that usual southern twang, he's got it. alongside a slight rasp to his voice, consequentially an unfortunate result of past ... tumultuous conversations. however, this doesn't stop elkstagger from being boisterous as ever.
  • scars despite the jaded fatigue he radiates when he thinks nobody is looking, it seems the worst brunt of his scars are in the throes of his mentality instead. he does have small nicks and scratches from bygone times, that are hidden by his thick fur growing over them.

  • scent a strong scent of conifers and that particular smell of river-water; the fresh smell of his enjoyment. fortunately, the stench of fish does not carry on his pelt, for elkstagger is quite keen on keeping that scent far away from his fur as possible.

  • gait he walks with a strong stride that exudes an aura of confidence. purpose to make himself known in a crowd, his paws are quite loud and daresay brutish - but that's apart of his charm. outpacing even some of his juniors in the competition of youthfulness, elkstagger does not care for the fact that he may not be that overzealous apprentice anymore. if anything, he should retain that part of his past as close as he can to his heart!

  • posture what some may call intimidating is elkstaggers usual; he doesn't simply walk. he struts. more akin to a pacing lion than a usual feline, his stocky build has become a foreboding warning to any apprentice who've skimped out on duties for the day. he could easily bodyslam them to the ground due to how upright he maintained his posture, if he so chose to. but he doesn't, at least not yet.

  • accessories n/a
  • physical combat with such a sturdy build, you'd think elkstagger would rather take the line of defense rather than offense. a widespread presumption that is immediately proved wrong when one is faced with him in battle. his impulsiveness, borderlining self-destruction, aims to take out as many foes as he can with such a stocky stature that makes it hard for others to latch on as easily. those countless attacks during alpinestars rein has cultivated a sheer powerhouse of a keeper, who finds it hard to pull away from that familiar bloodlust that he always fell back on in past times.
  • fortitude and with neverending battle brings the ironwill of a feline who's seen far too much to truly ever be normal. despite his thorough ups and downs throughout his life, elkstagger still manages to hold on with all of his wit and half his sanity. he finds retreating fools play, and perhaps out of spite he chooses to live so he'd be able to continue his productivity in the face of one hedonistic, lazy leader.
  • angling ... on a far lighter note, elkstagger is an excellent fisher who seems to be keeping bearclans fish menu always restocked. such a calming activity, to the point where he'd rather prefer to catch river-prey and leave the mammalian critters to his clanmates. consequentially, it has also cultivated his perceptive eye & quick reflexes.
  • diplomacy ah... do not take elkstagger in any professional environment. it is either his sharp tongue, or lax posture that kicks him out. or both, you'd never seem to tell what would be the reason during that day. a laughably horrible mediator in such serious situations, elkstagger is heavily preferred with physical confrontations rather than verbal ones. just look what happened to him when he tried to talk with mossclans group of cats wandering past.
  • camouflage and despite his pelt practically being made for the willowy oaks of bearclans conifers, elkstagger's personality is what makes this useful merit fall short. his body may be an extra falter in his progress with stealth, however a normal cat can easily overcome their heavier stature to slink through the undergrowth. elkstagger has too much fire running through his veins to ever be properly quiet; he's just ... loud.
  • impulsiveness and with fire comes the inevitable burn. elkstagger has never been able to keep a tight leash on his temper, it's something he's never attempted to rein in despite his mentors warnings; play with fire and you'll get burned.
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No one, I think, is in my tree###I mean, it must be high or low###That is, you can't, you know, tune in, but it's all right###That is, I think it's not too bad
  • pos ⸻ confident, sanguine, resilient, zealous, amiable, buoyant
  • neu ⸻ idealistic, ambitious, assertive, tenacious, stubborn, headstrong
  • neg ⸻ conceited, impulsive, unceremonious, irreverent, brash, insensitive

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎a‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎hearthfire which retains its impulsiveness and veracity, elkstagger is practically its double image. his vivaciousness is tempered to his own self will; a monolithic flame which ends up burning others and himself when they encroach upon the flammable possessions that are his relationships. however, the conflagration of his anger is a familiar, and daresay secure, feeling he unconsciously seeks in his web of dalliances. a dangerous coveter for adrenaline, he finds that death isn’t such a perilous end when you walk alongside it.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ in the throes of passion-fueled competitions and brazenness, that is will you find elkstagger in the heart of it. a zealous character who thrives in environments which caters to serve as an outlet for his energy, and subsequently a rejuvenator for his neverending ego when in the face of admiring youth, he enjoys feeling the thrill of attention scorching through his body when in bearclans limelight—that isn’t to say that elkstagger is unyielding to concede his spotlight in someone else’s paws; he values honor before most, and is impartial to reputation-earned monikers. the actions of another is what truly shows their competency.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ he values honor before most, and that includes old oaths which are usually bygone promises. perhaps it is an unhealthy merit to uphold in bonds, but elkstagger has found that promises are the foundations of his relationships. to break it is to sever your connection with him. this is where his most terrible flaw comes to front; while it is concealed in a veil of leisuredness from the outside world, elkstagger holds intense aggrievement that do not lessen so easily overtime. a grudge longlasting of what might be moons, is not a rare occurrence for him to grapple onto within the clutches of his claws. a tunnel-visioned thought process that ends up leading him further astray from reconciliation, it ends up hurting both him and the party affected rather than keeping his walls affront his vulnerable heart to avert anymore pain.
a domino effect, which unintentionally causes elkstagger to be attracted to those who are unable to occupy the vacant hole in his heart. he is scared of change, and is scared of mundanity; stuck in limbo and finds his only anecdote is to simmer in doomed relationships. not necessarily following a linear pattern, yet they all fall apart eventually.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ not a good distraction for himself, but a great entertainer to others. elkstagger is enjoyable company when out and about; his ambition is easily contagious to others - no wonder he’s bearclans most memorable keeper! his charades of a personality do not mimic his actions. an advocate for productivity and not one to shy away from dirty work, he’s able to convert any excess energy right back into his line of duties despite how he holds himself to be a hard bender of rules.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ … and, a hard bender of rules he is. hedonism is the wheelhouse in elkstaggers psyche, and its infrastructure is built off of living in such a perilous time during alpinestars rein. while yes he isn’t vain and does his duties exceptionally, the exhilaration of being able to indulge in his own entertainment is saccharine ambrosia even he isn’t able to resist. this also extends to elkstaggers' verbal communication as well—whatever in his mind slips out easily through his sharp-toothed grin. brutish in nature and far less professional in diplomatic situations, many can ascertain his line of speech to be easily insensitive if they aren’t used to his presence.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ moreover that elkstagger isn’t intentionally arrogant in normal encounters, but he certainly is perceptive enough where it hurts; his sharp tongue is honed to bite and maim the emotions of others whom he detests, where words are intentionally pieced together to fabricate an arrow of hatred, right through their heart. when cornered in such a situation, like heated arguments, elkstagger is not one to back down, and on the other hand ramps up the flames. this is a situation where he finds himself on home turf; he is not one to play mediator and diffuse. when one throws hot iron, elkstagger retaliates in an eruption akin to a damn volcano.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ in the rare times where his guard isn’t so iron-willed in face of ones he cherishes, his hot-rod of a tongue is tempered into a lazy fire, like a docile lion. elkstagger is endlessly devoted to his loved ones, his loyalty chasing them to even the gallows of death, where he’d stake his own life in return for their own. elkstagger is not scared of death. he is scared of the inability to save his close friends, family, comrades from the throes of a painful death. such devotion is found in a cat whos love is so encompassing it burns—and elkstagger is the perfect memento.

  • religion starclan
  • alignment neutral good
  • meal his favorite meal is any type of fish! which shouldn't be too surprising ... having mastered his trade of fishing throughout his lifetime, elkstagger has grown fond for the flaky texture of maritime prey. he also finds their scales a fun sort of enrichment to pick off when he's allotted himself time to laze around, and often gifts them to curious kits in the nursery.

  • animal despite his namesake, elkstagger finds himself likening to the spirits of horses; wild, untamed and free. able to run as far as they're able to go and the concept of borders meaning nothing but grassland to them. one of his pass-times is running alongside their bounding forms and trying to keep up, yet he's never been able to outrun them, at least for just a second ...

  • color yellow is obviously one of natures best-made concepts; sweet honeycombs, the warm rays of the sun, spritely dandelions sprouting from bleak moors—it's the heart of new-leaf, and a window to elkstaggers soul.

  • scent elkstagger doesn't have a particular scent he favorites, however the signature scents of his loved ones have always been a soothing balm on his stressed shoulders. though, he does find that specific smell of water and rivers to be especially relaxing.

  • season green-leaf being too hot on his thick fur, despite its camaraderie, and leaf-bare bringing back memories he'd rather leave untouched; elkstagger finds that leaf-fall is the perfect median in between the two polarizing seasons. it's not too chilly to the point of death, and not overly warm where he'd be cursing up a storm. it's perfect!

  • weather despite his insulated pelt, he finds rain & torrential downpour to be one of his favorite coping methods when he needs alone-time away from over-stimulating environments. the run-off of droplets through his pelt helps his mind & body to cool off, and he's usually standing 'til he's soaked all the way to his skin. it also helps get through his dense fur, as merely grooming is not enough to completely render him 'clean'.

  • activity are you kidding? he's been an angler since apprenticehood now, to the point where he'd find the prospect of others unbeknownst to his constant fishing to be practically close to zero! due to his stockiness, stealth has never been such a provider when out hunting furry mammals in bearclans undergrowth. so elkstagger tallies off his productivity for the day by fishing.

  • place ... well, it teeters with the leapfish river and calico grove; the latter of which, and he quotes, "the calico grove. s'been holdin' lots of memories for me." outside the scope of sentimentality, elkstagger thoroughly enjoys the beauty of bearclan territory with every little tidbits of flora & fauna catching his eye and making him appreciate the little things. the leapfish river, especially, has given him a good eye from catching so much fish there with his mother when he still had kitten fluff hanging off his cheeks.

  • meal feathers all in his mouth? eugh, get'm a fish instead! elkstaggers least favorite prey is any type of bird. be it feathered, hairless, or furred—he'd rather jump into grizzly lake and sink to the bottom! primarily it's their feathers that burns through his short-fuse, ending him up in a worse mood than how he started when seeing that birds were the only pick in the prey pile when he passed by.

  • animal be it superstitions, or just plain old paranoia, but elkstagger is terrified of those moose roaming around bearclan territory... sure they're majestic, but he's never seen such a large creature up close before. he'd rather stake up in a tree while they're around when he's on patrol ... thank you very much.

  • color red. encompassing red all around him, sticking to his fur, his teeth; a stinging metallic taste lathered on his tongue out of his own will and forced to bite through fur— .. he can't stand red.

  • scent the stench of the thunderpath surely has him reeling his nose upwards and careening away with a grimace. elkstagger hates how it sticks to his fur and nostrils like an uninvited guest, clinging to every hair and having the weight akin to molasses; that sickly smell oftentimes carries with it the reaper of death.

  • season with fur so dense and suited for alpine snow habituating bearclans far-off horizon, elkstagger rightfully despises green-leaf. despite the warm air of both high-spirits and the sun in tandem, it worries his mood into a rumbling state of irritation and a shorter temper than usual. escape brandishing itself as bodies of water are his only saving grace lest he ruins another ego of an unsuspecting apprentice trying to get him into higher spirits, how rude, elkstagger!

  • weather subsequently following his annoyance with green-leaf, elkstagger is also not fond of sunny days either. at a moderate amount, he'll be okay, at the very worst snappy at best, but with green-leaf reaching its peak heights of sweltering warmth? that's where he's out of commission for the entire day. nope, sorry - he's not doing any duties and instead sequestering himself away into the hidden shadows of the elite den.

  • activity er, does diplomacy count as an activity? perhaps it does ... albeit a mind-numbingly boring one, for sure! elkstagger is suitably not one for professionality, and instead coaxes that responsibility off to the other keepers and seekers who are much more put-together with words than him. he's already been told off for having such a foul mouth already as some folks harbored the unfortunate optimism to bring him along during meetings with foreign groups.

  • place he figures that the calico grove, too can stand as a place for his hatred; a love-and-hate relationship.

  • be calfpaws partner-in-crime forever! [failed]
    • it seems that his youthful self was much ..much more naive than he ever realized.
  • become alpinestars deputy [failed]
    • it felt like the end of the world for him, it was, at the time. he still feels that hot anger of ambition coiling within his chest, yet it's simmered into a numbing sensation. it almost hurts, at times.
  • visit leapfish river with clydesdalecoat [completed]
    • oh, how he's missed these times! his 'ma still got the bones for fishing, no matter what anybody says.
  • reconcile with calfstar [in progress]
    • ...
  • win the fishing competition [in progress]
    • he's itchin' to get his paws on those salmon flying 'cross the wading streams- he can feel it in his veins!
  • abandonment [severe]
    • the time before calfstars rein was ... a heavy one. elkstagger has lost many loved ones during the rogue attacks at camp. in similar fashion, he has also lost others dear to him before and after such attacks. each of them have struck him strongly in the heart, and have caused him to become wary of opening closer connections with his clanmates that isn't just lighthearted banter..
  • death of loved ones [severe]
    • also bred from the violent attacks, elkstagger would rather die himself than to watch the life of his cherished ones die out from their eyes in the medicine den. he is steadfast in his mission to keep the ones he loves away from death, and, idealistically harm as well. interestingly, he does not harbor these same fears of death for his personal life.
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maybe i'm just a bum###maybe you're scum###don't you go psycho chum###i want you for the world###i want you all the time

Insert family tree.

  • mother cyldesdalecoat is ...
  • siblings elkstagger had always been fond of his sisters ...
  • mates ... let's not get into that.
  • children to whom he misses and loves dearly:

Bulletpink // Attracted to BulletpinkBulletpink // Crush BulletpinkBulletpinkBulletpink // Romantically loves
Bulletred // Trust BulletredBulletred // Envy BulletredBulletredBulletred // Regret
Bulletorange // Like BulletorangeBulletorange // Respect BulletorangeBulletorangeBulletorange // Idolise
Bulletyellow // Slight curiosity BulletyellowBulletyellow // Major curiosity BulletyellowBulletyellowBulletyellow // Interested
Yellowgreenbullet // Shy YellowgreenbulletYellowgreenbullet // Nervous YellowgreenbulletYellowgreenbulletYellowgreenbullet // Discomfort
Bulletgreen // Friend BulletgreenBulletgreen // Close friend BulletgreenBulletgreenBulletgreen // Platonically loves
Turquoisebullet // Unease TurquoisebulletTurquoisebullet // Disgust TurquoisebulletTurquoisebulletTurquoisebullet // Aversion
Bulletblue // Wants to get to know BulletblueBulletblue // Misses BulletblueBulletblueBulletblue // Can't bear without
Bulletpurple // Comfortable with BulletpurpleBulletpurple // Enjoys company BulletpurpleBulletpurpleBulletpurple // Joint at the hip
Bulletwhite // Slightly suspicious altBulletwhite // Very suspicious BulletwhiteBulletwhiteBulletwhite // Distrusts
Bulletblack // Annoyed by BulletblackBulletblack // Dislike BulletblackBulletblackBulletblack // Hate
Dead-0 // Dead Question-0 // Missing/Status unknown Rose // Family
Heart-1 // Mate Roseblack // Ex-Mate

calfstar: bearclan leader (L) Ummm — Roseblack | BulletredBulletredBulletred | TurquoisebulletTurquoisebulletTurquoisebullet | BulletblackBulletblack | BulletblueBulletblue | Bulletpink
maggotplum: bearclan deputy (julie) ex-mate — Roseblack | BulletredBulletredBulletred | BulletblueBulletblue | BulletorangeBulletorange
"'always counted on 'ya to be there, and you always delivered. maybe was the right cat, wrong time; either way, i still hold so much love for you. perhaps not 'inna way that we originally had, but still one i deeply cherish. 'm glad koiloom is there t'take that spot i couldn't fufill."
stormchaser: bearclan warrior (damian) childhood friends — BulletgreenBulletgreenBulletgreen | BulletpurpleBulletpurple | BulletorangeBulletorange | Bulletred | Bulletpink
"'m so glad we retain our friendship, 'ya typhoon. 'been tempering my short-fused flames with your rain ever since our youthhood; s' calming, coulda' really learnt a thing or two from 'ya. thank you for stickin' next to m' side when nobody else came to."
condorwrangler: bearclan warrior (rue) close friend — BulletgreenBulletgreen | BulletpurpleBulletpurple | BulletorangeBulletorange | Bulletred
"he's a quiet folk, that one - but i'd like to think we been makin' a pretty good pair, the two of us! despite bein' able to break open that ol' clamshell of birdies, i still don't know much 'bout him other than a 'lil bit of more info he divulges t'me at odd times. still, a dependable cat t'be enjoyin' your peace with!"
bluebelldrift: bearclan warrior (holly) not aquainted — BulletredBulletred | YellowgreenbulletYellowgreenbullet | Bulletyellow | Bulletblue | Bulletblack
"i ... s'complicated. the rational side of me ain't thinkin' nothing but envy for her. how come she gets t'have that life i wanted with that damned cat, all these moons later? but then, it ain't her fault either; she simply got caught up in calf's web of lies. hopefully 'm able to get over my petty deal 'n finally able to look at 'er without any heartache. "
asphodeltwine: bearclan warrior (NPC) former mentor — Dead-0 | BulletorangeBulletorangeBulletorange | BulletblueBulletblue | Bulletgreen |
"oh! she was the best i'm tellin' ya! everyone who been alive to meet 'er always kept saying i took after her almost eerily similarily. i think i just needed an idol to depend on; oh she was funny as hell too! ugh, even my current age i could never hope t'be at asphodel's level of delivery in her stupid remarks."
dunesweep: bearclan warrior (el) close friends — bullets
Character: rank (Username) relation — bullets

cyldesdalecoat: perm. queen (august) biological-mother — Rose | BulletgreenBulletgreenBulletgreen | BulletorangeBulletorange | BulletpurpleBulletpurple | Bulletred
"'ma, my 'ma... i love her to death, everything we been through, nothin' dangerous gonna get past the both of us. and 'specially not past me, either. oh! don't tell 'er i said that, though - she'd whack me 'cross the head talking 'bout how she's still capable of draggin' me 'round the ear like back when i was a kit.. she probably still could, definitely never underestimate my 'ma. if anything, 'should be more scared of her than me!"
unknown: barncat (NPC) biological-father — Question-0 | Rose | Bulletyellow | Bulletblue
"mmm, never knew 'em. 's not much of a bother, anyway. my 'ma been teachin' me all the morals i needa know; i don't got a use for him now... though, sometimes the thoughts of what coulda' been do come by."
sunflowerdaze: bearclan warrior (ymir) sister-figure — Rose | BulletgreenBulletgreenBulletgreen | BulletorangeBulletorange | BulletpurpleBulletpurple | Bulletred
"sunny! the sweetest lass y'could ever meet 'round these parts. i love her to bits n' pieces, but oftentimes i been tryin' to steer her away from.. bad influences. not that m' not one myself but.. she's too trustin'! s' gettin' concernin."
pumpkinspring: bearclan warrior (kim) sister-figure — Rose | BulletgreenBulletgreenBulletgreen | Bulletorange | BulletpurpleBulletpurple | Bulletred
macadamiatrick: bearclan warrior (julie) adopted daughter — Rose | BulletgreenBulletgreenBulletgreen | BulletblueBulletblue | YellowgreenbulletYellowgreenbullet | BulletpurpleBulletpurple | Bulletred
"i'm sorry i couldn't be a good enough father. maybe then i would've been able to sway your decision and keep you by my side when you made your choice."
weaselpaw: bearclan apprentice (damian) apprentice — Dead-0 |
"'was too young to die. i feel like i coulda done somethin' to stave the heat off 'em. m' sorry, weasel."
otterpaw: bearclan apprentice (holly) acquaintanced — |Question-0 |
"ah.. i ain't blamin' her for leavin'—weaselpaws death n' all that. i jus' hoped we coulda gotten along better."
Character: rank (Username) relation — bullets

Character: rank (Username) relation — bullets
Character: rank (Username) relation — bullets
Character: rank (Username) relation — bullets

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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Vestibulum id magna dictum, suscipit mi vel, dapibus nisi. Etiam non neque et lorem pharetra accumsan in vel nisi. Vivamus lorem lacus, dignissim id urna id, sollicitudin tincidunt odio. Etiam cursus urna ut augue pellentesque, vel facilisis metus vehicula. Donec ultricies urna rutrum bibendum lacinia.
Always, no, sometimes, think it's me###But you know I know when it's a dream###I think I know, I mean— er — yes###But it's all wrong###That is, I think I disagree
  • sexuality bisexual
  • status divorced
  • availability complicated
  • mate n/a
  • currently attracted to stormchaser, calfstar (reconciling), bluebelldrift (soon)
    • previously attracted to calfstar, maggotplum
  • eye-candy
  • ships note: these are not completely canon and are only a general consensus on elkstaggers chemistry & intimate relations with others

love language

Description of your character while in love.

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Let me take you down###'Cause I'm going to strawberry fields###Nothing is real###And nothing to get hung about###Strawberry fields forever

  • before even his birth, elkstagger hadn't even graced bearclan's territories yet. not of bearclan blood, yet treated all the same. cyldescoat was a barncat at the time, however had came to bearclan in order to give birth to her kits. elkkit had blinked opened his eyes to bearclans shadowed scenery instead of the worn planks of a barn.

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Strawberry fields forever###Strawberry fields forever
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his face brightened considerably at her burning pride. perhaps she entertained him and bit off the obvious bait in his sentence, perhaps not. even so, it was the fact that she agreed that rekindled a smaller part of his youthful years when his mother wasn't too far by when he was out splashing in small glistening creeks near camp. elkstaggers stance took on a zeal of energetic passion, where he started to slowly saunter ahead of the two without even elaborating. his eyes flitted around their environment as he continued his steady pace, looking for a telltale landmark to lead him on the correct way.

"'s a great challenge. you might be familiar with it," he tacked on a hum of affirmation after a moments of comfortable silence, "and of course you can handle it. never doubted you for a second 'ma." was a reassurance that was most likely unneeded, however his need to bolster clydesdalecoat's mood always won over in the end no matter how hard his lighthearted challenges jabbed at her eversteady patience. after a little while of leisured striding, elkstagger slowly stopped in his tracks to an opening of a forested clearing, with a small yet fervent flowing creek right in the middle.

glints of flashing colors within the water told of the thriving fish population that still withstood the harsh weather─even till now. having his mother purposefully behind him blocked from the view, elk took the chance to fully reminisce in nostalgia again, brows furrowing as he tried to remember the fuzzy details of every flora that was here from his kithood. gently moving aside to let clydesdalecoat view the quaint clearing, elkstaggers mischevious grin melted into something genuine, more affectionate.

"the ol' creek you used to take me fishin', figured it'd help kickstart my huntin' skills. i thought this'd be the great place to hold a little competition for the both of us, like old times. y'know, when 'ya would always urge me to catch as much salmon as i could before you did, and in reality it was just you poking my leg because of my horrible tactics of catching fish─" and once he opened his maw to explain, elks ramblings increased in speed until he was out of breath.

i just wanted to indulge in another memory , and feel the warmth of your presence next to me again. was an unspoken message left to drift in elkstaggers thoughts, but the intent was as clear as the creek before them."
elkstagger spending time with clydesdalecoat, 11.27.23

"s'not about what you can do, s'bout what you could've done. for us." elkstagger hissed, and oh. that sound. had he really outright seethed at calfstar? a surety of malice within his tone, and elk could only do nothing but to flinch at his own aggressive tone. he rose his head upwards, leering down at calfstar through his lidded eyes. an action akin to a predator sizing up its prey, rather elkstagger awaited for any ticks of reaction to snatch onto like a starving wolf laying eyes upon fresh meat.

in reality, elkstagger didn't want any apologies from him. no matter how much the elkpaw in his heart yearned for one heartfelt moment again, he'd lock that miserable desire deep away, shaded by the woes of jaded silhouettes from warriorhood, and, eventually keeper. as for needing an apology, now would that have any effect for his longterm behavior? no matter how selfish elkstagger was ... well , he wouldn't want another victim of the same heartache he had once gone through.

his claws dragged through the snow once more."'ya keep repeatin' the same things, over and over and over again. don't it get tirin'? apologies this, apologies thatーhave you ever stoppped once to consider about what yer apologizin' for exactly? y'wanna rekindle," elk shuddered, almost repulsed at the mere idea of ever having the same casual relationship he once had with calfstar, "whatever we had in the past so badly, that y'can't even realize why i broke off away from the likes of you." so bitter. so resigned."
elkstagger arguing with calfstar, 12.30.23

"calfstars paw gingerly cleaned the etches clear of any snow, while elkstaggers voice wanted to use the last of its willpower to steadfastly hold onto that acidic resistance towards his interference and tell him to back off. he instead slowly, begrudgingly trudges his paws until they find themselves standing next to calfstar in a delicate balance of terse passiveness. elk, however, refuses to do anymore than what he has chosen to do. and does not face calfstar as he speaks, the only indication of his attentiveness gives way to his ears turning towards his even toned voice. while calfstar traced the jagged lines with his eyes, elkstagger was not one to follow; he chose his own path away from the other afterall. a paw, shakily but ever so gently, raising to caress their crude carving.

it could've been a love letter, perhaps a sign of their supposed everlasting friendship. or maybe a regretful tombstone for what they lost. he had dwelled on all of those possibilities hundreds of times already, and maybe more if he wanted to pull into his past and wrench the painful memories back into remembrance.

a soft caressーbefore his claws gripped the side of their drawing.

elkstagger didn’t wait long to see the tiny grooves of holes he indented into the worn bark before turning to look at calfstar fully. “y’can’t ask me a question like that, n’ expect me to answer with an easy response.” an uncharacteristically muted voice that murmured out of the keeper, keeping a straight face towards calfstar. contrasting the harshness, an underlying threat of his claws against rippable woodーwhether he took it as a threat or not, elkstaggers voice was sobered to his raw vocals. gone was the loud, charismatic charm of his accent and hooked words. only now was his true facade ripped away for only the likes of his leader to see.

couldn’t jus’ be there,” he mocked, cruelly. snidely. “whatta’ joke you are to bearclan. calfbleat. a whole laughingstock, n’ you just had to make me the punchline, didn’t you? expecting for ‘yer bestfriend to be there, when he already gave his own faith to bearclan ‘n the you of the past. ‘s hard ‘tryna extend myself when every part of me has been worn to pieces.”
elkstagger threatening to rip their shared memory, 12.30.23

“what i want…” his rasp of words petered off into an uncertain lilt. what did he truly need from calfstar? fatigued and weary paws after chasing after his presence for so long, that his innate purpose of finally having him in his life once more seemed like a foreign thing that didn’t exist in this lifetime. an apology, yes, but one that directly recognized the cause of his hurt embedded deep inside his heart. a reflection of his past actions without needing to parry it off towards himself instead, that was a given. extending past that threshold was a distant land that elkstagger, for once was scared to tread forth on. a hitch of his breath betrayed the steady nonchalance he tried to adorn on his face, and he wondered if the numbness that blanketed his body was due to the sheer coldness of their surroundings or his current sentiments.

he could say that calfstars paw encompassing his own was the cusp of nirvana, or perhaps the start of another punishment elkstagger embraced with open arms. a single action, however small it could’ve been to calfstar, opened the final gate he tried so, so desperately to seal shut. words came easy to him, deflecting was second nature. but physical touch? a road he couldn’t initiate no matter how much he tried, so for calfstar to take that step for the both of them, no matter how tattered their relationship was…

with one warm tear, reminiscent of the heat atop elkstaggers paw, came forth another. and another. and until he slumped his entire weight onto the frostbitten trunk with a mess of his own tears did the keeper register his own movements. but with his entire dignity pouring out and soddening his dampening fur, an attempt at picking up the pieces to appear normal came futile. instead he turned his head away from calfstars until he could count the chips of bark as best he could with a blurry stare in front of him.

and with tears came mortification; he didn't need his comfort. he didn't. and now he was laying slumped with a mess of his own tears and no resolve to their needless argument. he thinks, blearily that calfstar has seen him broken down before, shaking and sobbing like a kit. but never because of him. and a sense of fresh anger glazes over his grief once more, that he was the first to openly crack under his gaze despite elkstaggers constant insistence of steeling his hysterical side.

vocalizing without a shuddering sob escaping him was impossible, so he opted to grit his teeth instead to endure the sudden moons of suppression escaping in the form of tears; and yet, he needed to know... “and what does it mean to you?”
elkstagger breaking down in front of calfstar, 02.19.24

"his ears were far too long not to be of any use, but with every flick of each ear came up with nothing. how long had otterpaw been strolling about bearclan territory to easily camouflage herself into the flora right as he turned his back?.. was this.. supposed to be apart of bearclan's new training regime he wasn't clued in on?

before he could delude himself any further, a soft sound cuts through the woodland ambience like a claw. it silences the tranquil birdsong in his vicinity, and elkstagger's head shoots up above him, reared back in a snarl. this abruptly falters into a look of confusion as he meets the shocked eyes of otterpaw staring right back at him owlishly. finding himself in a momentary staring competiton, he continues staring with apprehension. and then—a snort.

the catalyst to a caterwaul of raucous laughter.

he felt bad, he really did. disturbing the natures quietude in favor to wheeze at his pseudo-apprentice's predicament that she had gotten herself entwined into! he just couldn't help himself—what was she, an opossum? with every glance back at otterpaw, elkstaggers laughter turned even more incoherent, shaking with every wheeze and chortle.

"oh, oh! this is too good—this is—," he took the time to wipe an imaginary tear from his eye. from otterpaws view, he could've actually been wiping a tear away in consequence of his absolute disgruntling laughter, "y'look like a damn squirrel up there! no, no, a chipmunk, gah! what're you 'tryna gain up in the trees? certainly not hidin' from me, you little brat."
elkstagger finding otterpaw upon a tree, 06.10.24

"imagine his surprise when only remnants of weaselpaws scent greeted him in the apprentices den in the morning. neither had he seen otterpaws form in her nest either. but that was a given—surely calfstar and otterpaw already headed out, right?

that notion already caused him to quicken the search for his missing apprentice, to no avail.

warriors den, no. medicine den? even he could pick out the absence of his apprentices scent in the midst of the chaotic jumble of herbs, no.

well, otterpaw was always the bolder one out of the two siblings, was his only rationality as he strode through the undergrowth and notably apprenticeless. the sting of embarrassment was quickly stamped out for an optimistic route- weaselpaw was a good kid, he most likely followed his sister when they'd left.

..which wasn't a good look on him either. what kind of mentor would awaken after their apprentice, and come to the meeting point late? and why would he follow calfstar rather than his own mentor? his faster pace led him right in the direction of loud, rushing water, anxiety outweighing the discomfort of calfstar's there.

and when he abruptly stopped just in front of calfstars line of vision, did he realize that he’d actually have to talk to him. because otterpaw wasn’t there either."
elkstagger stumbling across calfstar, alone 06.10.24

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    add mm.dd.yy

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